En Desmotivaciones desde:
07.08.2025

 Última sesión:

 Votos recibidos:
bueno▲ 0 | ▼malo 0

puntos 14 | votos: 14
hiii (desmoblog entry, 21/2/2025) - so imma journal here a little... i wanna tell you about some awful things that scared me. i was looking, like the curious guy I am, for stuff on youtube. and well, i have always had a pull towards dark stuff. fear, psychological horror. i seeked it because ever since i was a child i was very sensitive to it. or perhaps i found it casually, i dont remember tbh. the thing is it scared me a lot. there were those psa style commercials that aim to raise awareness of harmful stuff and many of them can be quite gory, graphic, disturbing, cause anxiety. i made a mistake, perhaps, of clicking into a compilation of the most disturbing ones, dealing with heavy topics like human trafficking, child abuse, hunger and poverty, animal cruelty. it was just awful and not good for my mental health. it also hit my emotions and made me cry and feel sorry for all humans suffering. the anti smoking ads scared me a lot, i mean it, which is probably the best thing i got out of that video because now i dont wanna touch a cigarette ever again in my life and im certain i can rejoin the anti smoking discord communities because there is no risk of me relapsing, those things are effective at scaring you. so yeah, that was the positive side. and, well, apart from disturbing me and scaring me, the ads hit my empathy and made me wanna donate to charities that help people who are suffering from those heavy and awful issues. i plan to do it on my birthday, ask for money from my parents and donate it. i could make it a yearly thing. not only it made me cry for others, it disturbed me and made me afraid of those things ever happening to me. safety is important, and teen brains are impulsive, they often underestimate it. that is the reason i started smoking and continued for two years. thankfully it wasnt heavy smoking. As of today, I am 4 months and one day smoke-free. that is, one hundred and twenty-four days completely smoke-free. i had temptations, but i guarantee that after watching those awful and disgusting psa adverts, none remain. i dont wanna get arterial plaque and cancer, i really dont. fear is useful sometimes. this wasnt even my first experience with disturbing psa adverts, but it was the first time that i got something positive out of it. not smoking, donating, extreming road safety caution, not handling fireworks at all and getting away from fireworks. i love safety. i could even say, i am kinda like gustavo fring from BrBa and BCS. i have some safety worries, and i cherish the part of me that wants to protect me, even if it gets too scared sometimes. i love that part of me. i just wanna be calm while i stay safe, i dont wanna be anxious all the time. ideas for keeping that safety focused vibe are carrying food, water and meds with you, heightened caution in roads, chamomile tea during the evenings and during anxiety moments (i am having one right now), staying smoke-free and alcohol-free, self esteem, self positive talk, consuming more positive content online (basically not making this watching of disturbing exaggerated gory content something frequent, not even remotely so, its terrible for my peace of mind.) but yeah, imma handle it well. its all in my head after all, in real life i am safe and i can show my nervous system that. just consuming calm content and music that makes me feel safe. 124 days... its huge. i hope my body will bounce back quickly from any damage. i am strong. gosh, we discussed it in therapy.... i have brought anger up in therapy, but its really time i bring up fear. how to use it wisely, not let it take over. i felt safe in therapy. admitting i am overworried, overthinker, hypocondriac, sensitive, very, very, very fucking sensitive since forever. gosh, i hate it and sometimes i try to hide it, as if it was a weakness, but i am the most sensitive person i know. i have nightmares over stuff others consider mild. i have intrusive thoughts and images that i deal with almost daily. and yet, my life is not bad, and it is infinitely better than before. i just wanna bounce back emotionally, forget about things sometimes, you know. and the good part about sensitivity is i am also sensitive to good stuff. calm, a privacy-focused browser like firefox, search engines like startpage, chamomile tea, caffeine, food, i appreciate those a lot. i have tons of empathy too. like, a fuck ton. i just hide it sometimes, because i was taken advantage of when i was soft. but i am sensitive to cozy stuff. tasty cookies, my red hair over my eyes signaling safety, a cute blonde guys presence, a hot shower, cozy bedsheets, talking with online friends... so yeah, i am very, very sensitive. when i was 9yo or so i started to cry when i came home because the teacher acted offended over a comment i made. i just cry and have nightmares over stuff other people wouldnt. i am sensitive, very sentitive, and i have tons of empathy. okay, here i close this blog entry, stay safe.
puntos 1 | votos: 1
Stuff I wanna do in 2025. - Typing and being online in a computer can be much better and smoother than being all the time on a phone. I dont have my own, but I should spend more time on the house computer. Feel at home in my body. Feel capable, confident, comfortable at rest, comfortable in stillness, and capable of seeking pleasant movement, making sure it goes smoothly. Enjoy cozy, atmospheric moments, and sensory pleasures. Organize my spaces with calm and confidence. Feel secure. Protect my peace. Stay away from toxicity and avoid potential toxic situations such as those in Discord or Instagram groups. Be very careful with people in real life too, and be detached to stay emotionally safe. Have clear, defined boundaries with other people. Say no to unwanted requests. Enjoy alone time. Feel confident. I want to be confident and secure in my emotions too. Let any self-doubt and thought of insecurity pass by, not giving it any weight or attention. Not let any external opinion or judgment bother me, and return to my inner peace always. Be confident in my character, my personality, my sexual identity and my beliefs. Take direct action to protect my interests as an act of self-love, such as the time I asked for a doctor visit. Examples of this could be going to the store, talking walks, asking for things, saying no to things, expressing myself directly, clearly and with no shame, etc. Take care of my health. Stay smoke-free and avoid alcohol. Start with gradual movement. Do walks whenever possible. I can walk through the streets or explore places such as squares, forests, the beach, and cafés near me, to make it extra cozy and give myself an incentive. I can carry cozy books, my headphones, my phone. Enjoy some alone time in the café, reading a book, if I find one. Or take coffee/tea to my walks and pee in the forest or the beach. Not feel pressured at all to take these walks, but make them enjoyable and desirable. Go to the store with your family whenever possible, as thats an easy way to get some movement. Cycling to English school, to German classes and therapy is also a possibility. Im not sure if Im actually getting the bike, but its a nice possibility to have and use whenever I feel like it. I might even end up liking it. To the walks and cycling I can add home workouts, that is, strength training for muscle groups. Perhaps every other day, the days I shower. Having a healthy, varied diet, with fruits, vegetables, white meats, legumes, and tasty stuff too. I could add granola and yogurt. I could cook healthy foods, but sugar cookies and sweet treats too. Cooking would be kinda amazing, experimenting with simple or curious recipes. Trying out new kinds of tea, and drinks. Relaxation, being present in my body. Reducing stress and upholding calm and security is taking care of your physical health too, since stress is bad for your body. I want a calm nervous system. Letting myself feel any anxiety or stress, letting any ego-dystonic thoughts pass by, giving them no power or weight over my mind, and realizing that they are nothing but thoughts. Recognizing its just anxiety, and that its very human to feel it. This one might happen naturally, and its better not to force it. It might take longer than this year, and thats perfectly fine. Its also not as important as the others. But it is also a desire of mine to reduce my anxiety so much that I am able to go around without relying on carrying my meds everywhere. Feeling secure enough, you know. Regulating my anger issues. Staying calm, taking breaths, removing myself from the situation and stepping outside for fresh air. I dont want to clench my whole body in anger ever again, that is so harmful and unhealthy. Stop annoying and creating conflicts with my brother as a catalyst for repressed anger or boredom. Stop entering his room too. Find better ways to deal with my emotions and childhood repressed anger and shame on my own. Be more organized to be more confident. Make organized playlists. Type with caps on and punctuation whenever you feel like it. Study more, and make organized notes in your notebook. Make actual notes in your notebook in the first place. In order to motivate myself to take notes: bring coffee to your classes and drink it, recreating that 2023 aesthetic. Try to make your notes aesthetic and good-looking. Keep your room as tidy as you can, mentally. Keep your online spaces and gallery organized too. Eat more regular meals, and especially warm them. During school year, go to sleep on time so that you may wake up at 13 and have time to pack your stuff and get out of the house calmly. Leave places tidy, dont leave crumbs or garbage behind. It is actually very possible to do this while remaining calm and present in your body, and you dont need to be obsessed with it or constantly thinking of it at all. Same with walks and exercise. Mental stimulation. Minecraft and possibly other games, Daria and other series, getting into films, whether with my family or on my own, reading books (I have some due to read), watching interesting Youtube videos on mental health, self-improvement, random topics of interest, scientific, humanities, entertainment, anything. Possibly picking up some more of languages like Russian, Belarusian, Esperanto, perhaps even Polish, through the internet. Enjoying my alone time. So far I think a boy would have to be kind of the ideal person to be my couple, since I require lots of personal space. I think I might get used to sharing it, but Im not sure. The thing is that I wanna be happy on my own, like I was in 2018. Solitude can be glorious and beautiful, extremely cozy and satisfying. And I wanna be happy and confident on my own, with solid boundaries, before even considering the possibility of anything else. Whats more, I might actually like my solitude and stick with it, but I dont know. That is not certain yet. Most importantly, though, I wanna be present in the present moment, and enjoy it with calm and relaxation. Enjoy my feelings, character and personality in those atmospheric moments. The ideas in this list involving exercise and organization are harder to complete than the others, and Im not gonna be stressed out by this, as my priority are those involving inner peace, mental health, and other areas of personal self-development, such as emotional regulation and self-esteem. Sure, walks and exercise are amazing, so is being more organized, and theyd be very cool things to include in 2025. But if I dont complete those objectives at a 100% level, Im not gonna beat myself up. My priority is enjoying life and the present moment, with a strongly existentialist and absurdist mindset, and Im not willing to put pressure on myself. Merry 2025.
puntos 6 | votos: 6
NO COMMENT - mejor lo dejamos estar



LOS MEJORES CARTELES DE

Número de visitas: 12107428979 | Usuarios registrados: 2075954 | Clasificación de usuarios
Carteles en la página: 8020776, hoy: 15, ayer: 16
blog.desmotivaciones.es
Contacto | Reglas
▲▲▲

Valid HTML 5 Valid CSS!